Short story: The sam and Joe show

The Sam and Joe show (Copyright of Kris Rodgers)


At about the same time that I was meeting my first love in the village, I also met two brothers that lived there, called Sam and Joe. Sam was a stocky chap, with a cheeky face that reminded me of Jackie Chan. I don’t know why this was. Sam wasn’t even Chinese, but he had that cheeky smile, and the same comedy run as the movie star. Joe was a little younger than Sam, and was apparently better looking.

I always thought Joe looked like a chipmunk.

Both of them had one of those characteristic laughs that you cant help laughing at. As soon as they start laughing, anyone in a certain radius would be off too. And they roared their laughs until they had no air left, and could only whimper. Sometimes, this was even funnier than the original laugh. This comedy factor was added to by the fact that neither of them had any eyebrows. This had been caused by an accident that included:

A stolen motorbike that for some reason didn’t work.

Darkness.

An opening of a petrol tank.

A lighter very near a petrol tank to see if there was any petrol in there.

And a big BOOM.

As you can guess, there was petrol in the tank.

Those four eyebrows would not grow back for a very long time.

The main thing I recall about S and J was their confidence. They really believed in themselves. This is what attracted me to them I think. Their spirit and energy was worrying sometimes, and would often get them, and anyone that was around them in a lot of trouble.

(sigh)

For example:

The first day I met S and J was on the bus to school. I doubt very much that they were actually going to school, but they caught it anyway, because it was going into town, and funny things happened in town. They told me that after school, everybody normally makes their way to the five-a-side pitch to go and play football, and I was invited. So that afternoon, we all got off the bus, and made our way to the pitch.

Except it wasn’t a five-a-side pitch. It was the village primary school playground, that seemed to have an unusual amount of ‘Trespassers will be prosecuted’ signs plastered up everywhere.

Anyhow. Everyone was already set up, and the school bags had been placed down to make the makeshift goalposts. Before starting, Sam warned me that every now and again, one of the local residence would ring the police, and tell them that we were playing on the grounds. He then told me not to worry, because he would keep an eye out, and if any police came, he would tell us in plenty of time, and we could make our escape.

(sigh)

I think you may have an idea of where this is going. If you know Sam and Joe, you defiantly do.

So we started playing football. But every five minutes, we would have to stop the game, because Sam had shouted ‘LEG IT!’ Of course, we all split up, and made our way into the fields, where the police would have trouble pursuing us. After running very fast for a few minutes, we would hear a ‘NOPE! FALSE ALARM!’ from the far-away distance. Sam did this over, and over, until finally everyone stopped running, because it was getting boring, and was pretty much ruining the game.

Then, all of a sudden, Sam ran past us with that Cheeky Jackie Chan look on his face. This time, he hadn’t shouted anything. He just ran.

‘Where’s he going?’ I asked the others.

And before anyone got a chance to answer, they had arrived.

‘Er…afternoon officer.’

And at that exact point, a little voice shouted in the far-away distance.

‘leg it!’

So that was my first telling off, courtesy of Sam and Joe. There were many more to come, and I quickly realised that if either S and J ran…you ran. No questions asked.

Another one of S and J’s favourite pastimes was ‘Garden hopping.’ This ‘game’ consisted of a large street of terraced houses, which are common here in England. The ‘contestant’ had to run through all of the gardens of these houses, late at night, and make his way to the other end, without being caught or eaten by a dog. There were many obstacles to be overcome on the way, including bushes, hedges, fences, walls, paddling pools, climbing frames, and plenty of other typical garden objects, that would try and get in your way. The contestant also had to prove his endeavours by stealing a ‘trophy’ on the way. This was proof that you had actually completed the task, and normally consisted of a pair of old mans underpants, that were ripped from a washing line.

I have so many funny stories about S and J, and I am sitting here giggling as I think about them. I could fill a whole book with their cheeky adventures, but time is getting on, and I have to draw the line somewhere.

And I shall draw it in saying that Sam and Joe moved to Australia.

Where Sam became a heroin addict.

I always thought that Sam would go on and do great things. As I said before, his energy and spirit was brilliant. I never once thought that something like that would happen to him. I knew that he wouldn’t do something conventional, like a typical nine to five job, but he was certainly intelligent enough to do something great. I couldn’t believe it when I was told, but after I started to think about it, I think we should have seen it coming.

You see, people always put Sam and Joe down. Especially in the village. If something got broken, or went missing, then it ‘must have been Sam and Joe’. No questions asked. In most cases when they were younger, it wasn’t even them. They had this from a very early age, and as the years went on, I believe that they started to act in accordance with this. S and J were not ‘bad’ people, they were just very cheeky, and slightly misguided. I don’t believe that anyone is inherently bad. It is just certain things, and certain factors that cause people to ‘go off the rails.’ I feel really bad for Sam, because if he got to the point in his life where I am now, I’m sure he would have realised that how he reacted to people, was because of they way they treated him. Hindsight is a very powerful thing, and I have learnt most of my lessons by looking back, and reminiscing.

Be careful of what you say to people, because one day they may believe it.

I wish you all the best Sam.